The Search for the Awesome Me's Valentine!
by Aluzerine
Summary: Valentine's Day is coming close, but the awesome me is still single! Not awesome people, I know I said I liked being alone and stuff, but its been what, centuries! being single is NOT awesome. Warnings: Shounen-Ai, Typical plot, Swearing Multiple Pairings
1. List of Unawesome People

****The Search for the Awesome Me's Valentine!****

**Disclaimer: Us no ownie**

**Warnings: Shounen-Ai, Typical plot, Swearing, May contain traces of fluff~**

* * *

><p><em>Scheiße.<em>

_Valentine's Day is coming close, but the awesome me is still single? Not awesome people, I know I said I liked being alone and stuff, but its been what, centuries! being single is NOT awesome. I need one now!_

Gilbert was in a dilemma, a huge dilemma. Or so he thinks, that is. The big day is coming. Not just coming, it's coming close. This usually won't be a problem for the awesome Prussia, as he declared it, but he had never found his other precious half for almost his whole lifetime.

_Well since we are getting on it, let's list things up!_

He grabbed a pen and paper, then listed down the names of all the countries he could remember.

* * *

><p><em>Hm...<em>

_Bela.. No. Her name must never be mentioned. Never in a thousand, nein, million years._

_Belgium? Nah, Netherlands would fucking kill me._

_Liechtenstein? That Trigger-Happy dude would shoot me to death._

_Monaco? Did we even met?_

_China! ... Wait, he's not even a she. _

_Seychelles? Nah, too...too...I can't put it in words._

_..Taiwan...? Such a sweet girl, but...no._

_Ukraine...? Unless I want to face Ivan's wrath, no way_.

_Vietnam? Wait, who the hell is Vietnam again? Was she the girl Francis molested a few decades back?_

_Wy...? Well whoever she was, whom I have never met, is a no as well._

_Okay, I just ran out of females, and I'm running dry on ink too. Never knew this map would ever come in handy._

_Oh wait Hungary is a female! I almost forgot. And er-thats a BIG no. I don't want to get pan'd every fucking single day of my awesome life now would I? I dont want to see the phrase "Death by the Frying Pan" on my tombstone either._

* * *

><p>"Fine, the males."<p>

"I don't want to be a bi or stuff, but whatever. Getting someone's vital reg- I mean, a partner is more important."

_Meh, too many, I'll only list the ones i actually have interacted with._

_America? Too loud._

_England? Too tsundere-ish._

_France? Hell no, even if we're friends, thats just..._

_Ah, I can put China in the list now. But... no. He's only good for his awesome dumplings._

_Canada? Love his maple syrup, but too meek and quiet._

_Russia? I'll probably save that possibility when I need an awesome suicide._

_Italy? He's such a cutie and stuff, but West wouldn't let me touch him._

_Japan? ... No. I couldn't find the right reason to say no, but... no._

_Netherlands? He hates Antonio, he must hate me too._

_Spain? He'd prefer to go with little kids. Like Romano._

_Oh right Romano! Oh wait Spain, yeah Lovi is his._

_Korea...? I'd like to keep my awesome man boobs for myself thank you very much. Wait how did I even know him?_

_Hong Kong? ... I think I saw him at the last world boring conference, but... I'd rather not take a risk._

_The Baltic Nations! little Latvia is so cute! Lithuania too~ but that Estonia guy is annoying. Meh Ivan is on the way._

_Sealand... He's not even a nation. Even if he is, Antonio would have claimed him ._

"Mein Gott this is so BORING. And my ink ran out too. _Verdammt!_ Time to get a new pen."

"Okay here it is..."

_Now... who is awesome enough to make it to the top of the list?_

He kept thinking, while he lightly punched his head and drank quite a loadful of his beer.

_Hey, why not Germany? He's close enough to me!_

_..._

_Oh wait. He is mein bruder. Besides, that pasta freak will surely be with him all the time._

He slapped his face hard, just to make sure that he still stayed in his right mind. What had gotten into him? Why would he even list his own brother as one of his date possibility for Valentine.

"Okay a few more people..."

_hm...Romania? Fuck no. He looks like a damned vampire, might as well keep my blood safe and not take the risk of having leukemia._

_Finland...Oh hell no, Sweden would fucking kill me._

_Turkey? Nein, I hate his mask. So not awesome._

_Switzerland? Oho, hell no, I'd be shot before I could even touch him._

_Thailand...Oh he's the dude who looks like roddy! A smiling version of him! And not prissy~_

Oh right.

He forgot the Priss.

His rival for like a lifetime.

The one who he beat the crap out of these past centuries.

The one who he always bothered and stalked when and even when he wasn't bored.

No.

Just no.

They were enemies.

They were born to be rivals, to hate each other...

...Right?

Since he was getting nowhere, he might as well try to interact with some of the countries he listed. Who knows, he might find the right one there after all.

...And it surely wasn't that priss right?

**TBC**

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><p><strong>AN: This is going to be a multi-chaptered fic, made by A-F-O-M-A and AlfredFKirkland**

**Faves and Reviews are loved~ and will get the fic going.**

**I'm a review hog XD ~a-f-o-m-a **

**Reviews means better stories xD ~AFK**

**Cheers and thank you!**


	2. Visiting Unawesome People

**CHAPTER TWO**

* * *

><p><strong>Wednesday, February 9th<strong>

_Okay so who should I start with...European countries seems to be a good choice since I know them better than Asians/Americans etc._

_Now, who would have the honour of being visited by the awesome Prussia?_

_..._

_Let's try England, since he's Forever Alone like ore-sama._

_..._

_Yes, he will be a great start! C'mon, Gilbert, drag your awesome self there!_

********USUK********

_**At England's Place...**_

Gilbert finally pulled up just enough courage to life his hands up and press the doorbell.

Ding! Dong!

1 minute passed.

2 minutes passed.

No one opened the door for him.

He rang the bell once more.

Another two minutes passed. Still no answer.

...

*Door Bell Abuse*

"Damned Brit. Im busting in then!"

He busted into the house only to find the house in a silent condition. Too silent, to be more exact.

"Oi, eyebrows! Where the fuck are you?"

His eyes scanned the house for any traces of the Brit, but he found none.

"..."

The former nation was about to leave, until he heard a scream, more like due to shock, so he followed the way where he heard it, which led to a garden he had never been to.

Arthur was there, with Alfred.

Great timing~ He laughed as he made his way to hide somewhere and eavesdrop.

"Bloody hell, what are you doing here?"

_Was he talking to me or Alfred?_

"Why did you hide behind the bushes, you git?"

_Oh. He was talking to ME. Oh wait! there's someone else here..._

"Me or him?" the tall man with a scarf said as he stood up pointing at the albino

_Why... why the fuck is he here?_

"What in the name of fairies are you doing here, Ivan?" Arthur snapped as he backed away from the Russian, grabbing Ms Unicorn's horn for protection.

"Me~? Ah, I'm just admiring your beautiful garden~ Although, it can use a little bit of sunflower. You know what I mean?"

"Never mind you...Why the hell are you here Gilbert?"

"Well look who FINALLY noticed /the awesome/me."

"It was not supposed to be on purpose, you git."

"..."

"Ivan, could you just please get away from my residence? You're getting in the way."

"Is there any problem~? Kolkolkol~"

"..."

"He's mad..."

"Let's run..."

And as if on cue, Gilbert and Arthur ran off-while dragging Alfred of course-away from the angry Russian, even though it was Arthur's residence... They can eventually return anyways.

It was not until they reached a nearby park that they stopped, relaxing their tensed bodies from all the stress caused by that certain Russian.

"Arthur, I was talking to you back there! It's not very nice to cut somebody off when they're talking!"

"It's not like I wanted to cut you off, you git."

"Now back to our topic!"

_They're acting like I'm not here at all...bastards._

"Oi, oi. The awesome one is here too, you know."

"So Arthur, answer the hero already!"

"..."

"Hey I thought I told you to not ignore my presence!"

-"Shut up I'm waiting!"

-"Shut up I'm thinking!"

"Tch...Ill-tempered brats..."

"..."

"Yes."

"...What was that, Artie?"

"I-I said YES! Fine I-I'll be..y-your...v-va..len...tine..."

"B-But you can't be that guy's Valentine! This awesome one was just about to-"

"He's mine, Gilbert. You have to find another one~ Ahahaha~!"

And with that said, a slap from Arthur landed on Alfred's cheeks. And after that Arthur lectured Alfred about things that he can't say out loud in public, leaving Gilbert out of place again.

"Meh, Who cares anyways, your loss Arthur!"

Arthur stopped his lectures and turned to look at the grumpy Prussian.

"Wh... what?" both the American and British exclaimed at the same time.

"What? What'd I say?"

"...Why are you even asking me out anyways? Are you that much of a wimp that you can't ask R-"

"S-Shh Artie, let him find that out himself-er um I meant...We got to go! Catch you later Gil!"

"Y-Yeah, see you around! And stay awesome!"

"...Huh...?"

And with that, the pair left the former nation dumbfounded, completely unaware of what they meant and what just happened.

********USUK DONE 8D********

**Thursday, February 10th**

_First mission was a failure! Who needs him anyways? I'm too awesome for that thick eyebrow dude! I deserve a much much better partner! And why were they acting so strange? Suffocating due to too much of my awesomeness? HAH! suits them right._

_Now who the heck is lucky enough to have a visit from ore-sama..._

_I'll just pick randomly from this list..._

_..._

_ROMANO? What the fuck. No way! No fucking way!_

_Don't stare at me like that you stupid paper! You too pen! TRAITORS! I thought you guys were my friends?_

...

_Fine fine I'll go visit that brat..._

...

********SPAMANO********

_**At Spain's Place...**_

"Oi! Anybody in there?"

"Ah Gil! Did you come to visit me?" Greeted Antonio with a huge smile plastered on his tanned face.

"No-erm yeah kind of, I need to speak with Lovi."

"Lovi, huh? He is kinda busy at the moment~"

"It's fucking urgent, Toni."

"Well what do you need from Lovi anyways?"

"Gonna ask him out for Valentine's. Now hurry up!"

"..."

"Well, what are you waiting for, Toni? Fucking call him already!"

"I... I can't, Gil... I-I'm... s... sorry..."

"And why's that? Just say it already."

"..."

"Say it!"

"Lovi... he..."

"Yes? I'm waiting here. Waiting is not awesome."

"He... he is m-my... valentine..."

"..."

"Sorry Gil, but I'm not going to give Lovi that easily after pursuading him for centuries..."

"...You're kidding right? Nah I'm the one who's kidding, I'm happy for you! FINALLY had the balls to say it eh? Ore-sama is proud!"

"Gil-"

"Anyways, enjoy your... awesome valentine with Lovi! I will eventually find someone anyway, so.. _tschüs_!"

"Why are you asking out Lovi anyway?"

"That question again?"

"Eh? I-I mean good luck on finding your valentine! a-ahaha...ha..."

"...? Bye...?"

********SPAMANO is DONE! XD********

**Friday, February 11th...**

_Tch, Failed again! Verdammt! Well at least Tonio finally had the guts to ask that brat out..._

_Time to find another one... Why is it so unawesomely hard..?_

_Now pen and paper, don't betray me again! Was? It was my fault for putting him? Oh now you're blaming me? traitooooor!_

...

_Eenie meenie miny mo..._

_England? Already done._

_..._

_Eenie meenie miny mo..._

...

_ITA-CHAN~! I stand corrected, paper and pen you are my bets buddies in the world! after Gilbird and those two (Tonio and Francis) of course..._

_Kesesese, time to go visit my cute Ita-chan~!_

********GERITA********

_**At Italy's place...**_

"Whaddya mean I can't speak with Ita-chan? WEST!"

"Bruder, I am sorry but you can't..."

"Come on West! Don't cha want your big bruder to be happy?"

"...Well..." Germany scratched the back of his head as he tried to find the right words to tell the former nation in front of him.

"..."

"Weeeeeeeeeeessssst...! Wake up! Hello?"

"O-oh sorry, like I was saying you can't talk with Italy because..."

"Because what?"

"He's high."

"High?"

"Apparently, he ate too many sweets, now can you please go before he attacks us both?"

"...Tch. Fine, fine, bye West! And your lies don't work on me! So this is where you've been the past few day, aye?"

"...!"

"Well, Big Bruder is proud of you! bye now!"

********GERITA finished~********

**Saturday, February 12th...**

_NOT FAIR. Even West has one now? Stupid unawesome luck! But big bruder is proud of him! Now pen, choose the right one for ore-sama!_

...

_Who? Who's that? Cana-what?_

"I'm Canada.."

"W-What the FFUUU- who said that?"

"Me."

"Who the fuck is that? Show yourself! O-ore-sama is not afraid of ghosts, not afraid I tell you!"

"...I am no ghost, I am Canada..."

"Who?"

"C-Canada..."

"Canada?"

"Yes..."

"Hah I was just kidding Mattie! I did invite you over, right?"

"R-really? I really thought you forgot about my presence too..."

"How could I forget you when you make such awesome maple syrups!"

"T-thank you..."

"So, will you go out with me?"

"S-sorry but...I-I'm going with F-france a-and Cuba..."

"Eh? That's too bad...Well I'm glad you have one!"

"W-Why are you even asking people out...?"

"That question again? Ain't it obvious? I'm trying to find the perfect one for the awesome me!"

"Perfect o-one..?"

"For Valentine's, you little brat! Isn't it unawesome to go through the streets on Valentine without someone to hold your hand?"

"Y-yeah...But shouldn't you know who you really want to go out? I mean, the one closest to your heart..."

"But Ol'Fritz is dead..."

"N-no! I meant romantic l-love..."

"... West...?"

"T-that's platonic! A-and it'd be awkward to date your brother right...? That's incest..."

"..."

"W-Well?"

"I guess... Maybe I'd go for Toni or Francis, since I always hang out with them and they're so fucking awesome?"

"Go on..."

"But... Toni had Lovi. And Francis..."

"...I-I've been with him for... y...years... and..."

"Oh right, sorry Mattie! Then who should I ask?"

"T-that's for you to find out..."

"SUCH A SPOILSPORT!"

"E-eek...!"

"Sorry~ Kesesese, I'm kidding!"

"So who are you going to visit...?"

"Hm? According to paper, I'm gonna visit China."

"E-eh? B-but.."

"But what?"

"R-russia..."

"OH RIGHT. Thank God, you saved me Mattie!"

"You're welcome..."

"Let's see...I've been friends with Elizaveta when we were kids...and we still hang out...kind of...so maybe her?"

"Elizaveta-san? G-great choice! But..."

"But..?"

"N-never mind, I wish you the best of luck, Gilbert!"

"Okay then...?"

********HUNGARY-N-HER-DEADLY-FRYING-PAN********

_**At Hungary's Place...**_

"What is it now, Gilbert?"

"Well...I just wanted to ask you if..."

"Hurry up! I don't have all the time in the world to wait for you to speak!"

"I-I just.. wanted to ask..."

_Tch, come on! Awesome me! Say it!_

"Well?"

"I. wanted. to. ask. you. out. for. Valentine's..."

_Yes! Awesome me! that's it!_

"Say what? P-PFFTTT...-insert long laugh here- Y-you're kidding right? -insert another laugh here-"

"H-Hey why are you laughing?"

"Cause you're funny."

"How am I funny? I mean, awesome of awesome me, is askin-"

"I can't believe you're asking _me_ out instead of...someone."

"Someone? Who?"

"That's for me to know, and for you!"

"Who on earth are you even talking about..."

"Oh someone~ -insert a giggle- Now hurry up and find out who it is or I'll send you away with my frying pan~"

"F-For what?"

"It's for your own good, and his...erm his/her.../and to satisfy my fangirl needs!/"

"Okay then?"

"Good, now GO! Shoo!."

And right after that, Gil was sent out by the deadly frying pan...

********HUNGARY AND FRYING PAN END********

_That bitch of a country...tch. She could've sent me out nicely, without using her deadly frying pan..._

_So what now...people have been indirectly telling me that there's someone I like that I'm unaware of...Who the fuck is it? And it wasn't Liz? Who else could it be?_

_Let's see..._

_It certainly would not be West, since it is... what does Mattie call it again? Incest? Platonic? Ah, fuck whatever._

_Arthur has Alfred. To hell with that hamburger dude. He took eyebrows before me._

_Toni has that tomato brat._

_Feli would be with Lutz._

_Francis has Mattie._

_Wang... He already had that stupid Russian._

_Elizaveta... well, should I even talk about her?_

_So...Who the heck is it...?_

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**A/N:**

**A-f-o-m-a: Good news people 8D Another person as joined our collaboration! XD**

**K1: who? OwO**

**A-f-o-m-a: you owo**

**K1:oh. Eh? xD**

**A-f-o-m-a: Yeah you XD and sorry for the long wait people! ;3; Iggy and I didn't have any time xD**

**AFK: FUUUUUUU- Blame school! D:**

**A-f-o-m-a: Aye Dx**

**K1:N work! D: N HOMEWORKS TOO! N MORE MORE MORE! DX**

**AFK: AYE. KILL. KILL THEM.**

**A-f-o-m-a: I hate PE. XD Anyways, Reviews and Faves are always loved! Ciao~**

**AFK: We're getting random. o_o Anyways, read and review and fave and subscribe and... whatever, anything is loved! Even flames! /shot ((K1:maybe Tsuna's pill :D))**

**A-f-o-m-a: Dahaha~ Ciao Ciao~**

**K1:Tschus! Thank you for reading it! :) DANKE! D -Bows 90 degrees-**

**A-f-o-m-a: Iggy, say good bye owo.**

**AFK: Oh right. Farewell~! Thanks for reading! -le bows-**

**A-f-o-m-a: Cheers and thank you!**

**((This was supposed to have lots of pairings but we got lazy))**


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